Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Fantastic Parent and Frenching Flunkie!?

Here’s some interesting questions for you to consider:

1.  When is the last time you French-kissed your spouse?  I’m talking total tongue-swapping salivia-mess up the lipstick job kind of kiss?  When is the last time you held hands and cuddled with your sweetie in front of the kids?

2.  When’s the last time you hugged your kid?  Attended their special event or game?  Let them stay up past bedtime to spend time with you?

Is it possible to be a fantastic parent but a frenching flunkie?  In most cases of marriage and family, your spouse probably came before the children which answers the age old question (at least this time) of which came first; the chicken or the egg?  But if you’re like me, I find it easier sometimes to dote on the little chicks and leave the big rooster to fend for himself. 

Yet there is a funny thing that happens when I put my children first and it may not be what you expect.  The children suffer.  WHAT!?  Our CHILDREN suffer when we put them before our spouses?!  Exactly.  In our child-centered society today, I’m sure I just committed some kind of unpardonable sin by saying this but it NEEDS TO BE SAID!  One of the BEST things we can do for our children is love our husband or wife.  A saying that has been around for some time goes like this, “The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.”  (I’m sure all the Mommas out there are giving a shout out to that saying!) As much as I LOVE that quote, I think it also holds true that of the best things a MOTHER can do for her children is to love their FATHER!

I’m not saying you have to swap saliva in front of the kiddos to prove to them your undying love for your man or woman (and all the teens may be saying “AMEN”!!) but what about a hand squeeze or cuddle on the couch?  Maybe it means speaking well of them or sharing a favorite memory you have of them while they are away at work (instead of grumbling about them being gone or getting home late, hmmm…I am SO busted!).

If you think I’m a bit off my Momma-rocker, maybe you could ask your kids (that are older) what one of their main fears about their parents is.  Statistics show that the majority of kids share the same fear about their parents:
they fear their parents will stop loving each other and get a divorce.  

Even though your little darlins’ may put up a little fit if you escape with your special someone on a date or not appreciate when you tell them to zip their lips (for just FIVE minutes, is it possible?!) so you and your spouse can catch up about your day before dinner, I think deep down they will be feeling relieved and happy to know the old love birds are still in LOVE! 

Want to be a fantastic parent?  Stop making it all about the little chicks and instead, take some time with that hard-workin’ old rooster or faithful ol’ hen for a change!  One of the best thing a parent can do for their children is love their spouse.  So go practice your French kissing again like you did it during the dating days.


Nicole Searfoss-Owner, Indulgent Aromas said...

I couldn't agree more! I always felt like I was doing my children a disservice by putting my hubby first, but then read a book that confirmed my thoughts: God first, hubby second, children third, and other family/friends. My hub and I have an amazing relationship and pretty much constantly cuddle and snuggle in front of our kids. I don't think they know anything different. I wish the same for each of my 4 girls when the time comes. Makes for a very fun life!

Just found you on voiceboks....and am so glad I did!!!

Tara Cole said...

Nicole, what a GREAT example! That is so refreshing to hear!