Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Who Thinks Your Spouse is SEXY??

Someone thinks your husband is dead sexy.

They think he is a strong, good-working man.

They think he is a great daddy to his children and a tenderhearted guy.

There is a man out there that thinks your wife is really hot.

They think she is a giving, amazing kind of gal.

They think she’s a fabulous mother to her children and has a sweet spirit.
If you’re first thought when reading this (other than perhaps turning a little green around the collar) was, “Obviously they don’t know my spouse!”  or, “They must have never seen her/him three days without a shower!” then let me direct your attention to a red light flashing over your head with sirens a wailing: “WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!!”

You are about to step on lethal ground.

A funny, or should I say…not so funny thing happens a few years (or days) into the marriage, the rose-colored glasses get ripped off by reality and we find ourselves facing the one we vowed to be with until eternity comes.  When that happens, eternity can start to seem far, far, far away!

But I would like to pose this question to you: Is the reason we begin to take our spouse for granted because we know them too well or is it because we do not know them well enough?

Before you think that I just swallowed a few crazy pills, hear me out.

We fall in love with our spouse because they are both like us and not like us at all.  We are shocked to discover another human being from this era that doesn’t wear leg-bands or tie-dye shirts anymore (or is that cool again?) that still thinks “Breakfast Club” and “Pretty in Pink” make the Top Ten Movies of All Time List.  We can’t believe that someone else like to eat Thai food so spicy it makes your eyes water and usually spend the rest of the day bonding with a toilet.  Most of all, we are surprised that someone actually laughs at our jokes and thinks we are funny…and they aren’t just humoring us.  

We also love the things that make them different from us; the way they get brave when we get shy (thanks for that one, Amy Grant!), their arms wrapped around our waist, and the way they don’t mind splurging some cash now and then when our hand usually cramps up from squeezing our money so tight.  Their “opposite qualities” excite, surprise and attract us to them.

But sometime after “I do” we swap “I like everything about you” to “I don’t want you to be YOU anymore”.   Typically, we have the perfect person in mind that they could model after: OURSELVES!

At least that is what I did…I’m sure you are much more mature and much less selfish than me but I’m going to dish it straight with you about ME.

The past five plus years of our marriage have been variations of “Extreme Home Makeover”, only it’s been my attempt to makeover my husband instead of our home.

You get brave when I get shy…but could you be braver a little more quieter, a little more…shy-ly?

Your arms are so big and strong…but could you stop ripping through those shirts with your ever growing “muscles”?  We’re going broke buying you new clothes.

You are so fun in the way you splurge now and then…but could you never buy another McDonald’s hamburger and save every penny we make?  (Or, better yet, donate the money to Tara’s Shopping Fund?)

Get my drift?

I married my man because he wasn’t going to be "my man", at least not MY version of who I thought he should be.  He was a free-spirit that was confident in who he was and loved me for who I was.  So why not love him for who he is?

Lord knows, if WE won’t love our spouse for who they were, who they are and who they will be then there is someone out there that thinks we are NUTS!  They see the GOOD, the KIND, and the UNIQUENESS in our spouse.  Shouldn’t WE see it all the more?

Most evenings around 5:41 p.m., (it’s supposed to be 5:30 but that is just another thing I am learning to love about my sweetie), a tall, handsome man in cowboy boots (you never know where you have to go for work: always be prepared is his motto!) throws open our back door and steps inside.  I may be steaming more than veggies for dinner because he is late.  I may be short on patience with an extra tall order order of complaints for him.  But when he sends me that million-dollar-smile (or if he doesn’t), I remember: he CHOOSES me.  

He could be out at the bars, hitting on other woman that think he’s sexy.  He could order that McD’s burger-splurge on his lunch break from a girl whose own Daddy never worked hard for his family and she could think, “What a hard worker, his family is so lucky.”  He could show the photos of his children that he carries with him everywhere to a lady client and she could think, “What a great Daddy he is.”  

Because if I don’t think it, if I don’t appreciate him (her), if I don’t tell him (her)…someone will.

If that scares you, it should.

I hope it will inspire us all to love our spouses for who they are and strive to see the best in them everyday, from now until eternity arrives.  

WHO thinks your spouse is sexy?  I hope YOU do.

Everytime your spouse walks through that door after work, everytime your wife or husband is waiting for you when you get home, remember what it means: they CHOOSE YOU.

1 comment:

K. the Littlest Crafter said...

What a great post - you are so right. Thank you for posting that reminder