Baby Warning Label:
“If you hear a grunt coming from a tiny person in a bathtub that has more fat rolls then years, do NOT hesitate and do not hope for the best--this isn’t the time to be optimistic! Perform an emergency evacuation of all persons in the tub, armouring the offending party in a diaper ASAP in the hopes of preventing mass chaos and cries of “YUK!!” from all affected siblings in the tub.”
This would be a great warning label to slap on the bum of a newborn in order to give new parents a heads up. Of course, if I were a new parent instead of a mom to four, almost five, I wouldn’t feel so foolish at the admission that I was the overly optimistic parent this morning when my baby girl filled the tub with...well, “a surprise” (I’ll keep this PG).
Amidst tears and cries of horror (from the two-year-old sister), I had to finish off their bath with a good ol’ hosing down from the shower to reverse the damage from my sweet lil’ baby’s tub “explosion”. As they were crying, I had to laugh at myself and my recurring spells of mom-nesia. Even though I had heard the grunt, I temporarily forgot the many times I’ve had to end a bath with the shower and a bottle of Lysol (for the tub, not the children that is!).
Just as I often forget when I pull into a store parking lot with all my kids in tow just how “exciting” my shopping trip will no doubt become. It usually includes (though is NOT limited to!) at least ten frantic announcements of, “I HAVE TO GO PEE-PEE!!” which always occur when we are across the store, approximately 100 light-years away from the needed destination (who says shopping carts can’t go 60 mph!?).
It also means me breaking out my Martha-Stewart-skills (FEW though they may be!) and making yet another pink crown out of paint-sample-cards to keep my little princesses from chewing through all the boxes of snacks before we check out. An hour into our time at the store, I usually check my mile-long list to realize that except for four deliriously bored children and a bunch of bananas (oh wait, how come there is only ONE left now?! Ahhh!!), my cart is completely empty!
It also means me breaking out my Martha-Stewart-skills (FEW though they may be!) and making yet another pink crown out of paint-sample-cards to keep my little princesses from chewing through all the boxes of snacks before we check out. An hour into our time at the store, I usually check my mile-long list to realize that except for four deliriously bored children and a bunch of bananas (oh wait, how come there is only ONE left now?! Ahhh!!), my cart is completely empty!
Although you may have a better Mom-memory than me and have learned to leave your kids at home when you shop (babysitters are worth their weight in gold some days!!), maybe it’s something else (another forward on their allowance? Saying yes to an overnight at their friends even though their room is still trashed? Attempting to eat at a fine dining restaurant with a toddler?) that triggers your own spell of Mom-nesia!
Moms should come with a label too,
Mom Warning Label:
“May undergo spells of Mom-nesia that cause them to always love in spite of every trial (and attitude!) their children may cause and may only remember the best in spite of the previous worst case scenarios.”
Although I’m the last one to like a label stuck on me, when it comes down to it, that might not be a bad one after all. Maybe a spell of Mom-nesia now and then actually does a brain...and a heart...good!
Now, what is that little grunt I just heard...?!
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