Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Job I Got FIRED From!

I was recently fired from a job that I thought I had been doing pretty good so it came as a real shock.  That job was being the C.E.O for the “Changing My Husband” company.  I knew I was never alone in my full-time work as I would hear complaints of many other wives who, along with me, would lament, “My man doesn’t spend enough time with the family!”  I would agree with them in this declaration so we would roll up our sleeves and get to work to change that man who was so OBVIOUSLY in need of help to realize the error of his ways!!

I was first appointed to this position about five years ago, shortly after a little baby boy we named Gideon burst into our world...and needed his dirty diaper changed.  From that moment forward, the mission to convert my husband into “Bob the Super-Family-Man” began!

So, here’s MY story.  I love my man.  He’s a fantastic father and a better hubby to me than I had ever DREAMED about!  It’s BECAUSE I think this that a common gripe from me is that he doesn’t spend enough time with us.  I love the time he does spend with us, but with full schedules of work, house projects, ministry obligations and more, he is a man-in-demand most days by more people or things than just our little clan.

Then, a few months ago, God finally broke through my brick wall (ie, my head) to say this to me, “You can’t change him!  You can pray and ask ME to change him but ultimately as the leader of your home, he is accountable to ME.  One day he will stand before Me and answer for how he spent his time and resources.”  Yeah, I took the hint.  God was firing me from being C.E.O of the “Changing My Husband” company.  According to God, it seemed that changing my husband was actually HIS job.  
I was shocked.  Dumbfounded…What would I do?!  STOP nagging?!  Stop with the silent treatments on Saturdays that Bob had to do something other than tickle-wrestle our kids all day?!  Rest my brain from thinking up ways to get my husband to take us on adventures every weekend?!  OUTRAGEOUS!!

But…ultimately, I’m a pretty reasonable gal (stop laughing, dear) so I consented to do TWO things and ONLY two things; 1. STOP trying to change my husband and 2. START praying that God would change him.  

After all, my husband isn’t accountable to ME…he has to answer to HIS boss-man when it is all said and done, just like I will one day too.  If that seems like a bit of a letdown just when you were hoping for a cure to this dilemma, let me assure you, these two things are a GOOD thing…a GREAT thing even!  It takes the pressure off you.  Go ahead, kick your feet up ladies and take a break from all that naggin’ because more than likely, it AINT WORKING ANYWAY (but feel free to confirm this with your man if you’re in doubt.).

This last Saturday is a good example of how NOT trying to change your man and praying instead can actually work. I felt the old grumble bug coming on right after breakfast when my husband, Bob, mentioned he would be tackling our taxes that day.  TAXES?  I thought, The sun is shining and it’s a SATURDAY!!  Geez, can’t we have some FUN!?!?!!

But, alas, I bit my tongue (so hard it is still hurting) and mentioned I’d like to do something all together but didn’t demand it or whine about it.  Nonetheless, he didn’t seem to hear and headed back to his office with that darn laptop to…(cringe)…WORK!  My brain shifted into overtime as I took in the kiddos doing flips off the couch and the dishes stacking up in the sink, Great…I got to get Bob to DO something with us.  Oh, wait…I can’t change him but I CAN pray.

I actually felt a little relieved, I could expend my energies in some other way today, after all, I was no longer the CEO of “Changing My Husband” company.  God was.  Just in case He forgot though, I took some time on my knees, I was already on them mopping spilt milk off the floor, to pray.  I prayed later that day again when I felt the grumble bug coming back for a visit and I was amazed, it was working.  NOTHING was changing on the surface but underneath the surface, in my heart, real change was happening.  I had peace and joy that even a sunny day spent doing miserable taxes couldn’t take from me.

Then it happened.  It was nothing major but I had to smile because I began to realize (like I said: my head=brick-wall sometimes!) God WOULD do His job if I stopped trying to take over.  Bob came home early, played with the girls on the floor for awhile, took the boys to Fleet Farm and bought them their first cap-guns and we even had a family dinner together!  That night he cleaned his entire workshop area (something I’d been BUGGING him to do for a year!) and spent time with me…all WITHOUT being asked to do any of this!!

Was it a perfect Saturday?  Nope.  But it was pretty darn close.  The best part was we didn’t get into a “heated discussion” over anything, we just enjoyed the kids and each other.

So what’s my new complaint about my husband?  Well, I’d have to say I don’t have as many as I used to…mostly because I’m realizing that I have enough to change about ME that I don’t have time to be the C.E.O of a company that’s mission is to change someone else anymore.  I’m so glad I got fired from that job!

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