Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Give. Him. CONTROL!

I had a Pounding the Pavement Therapy Session tonight.

I don’t mean the kind of therapy when you are so frustrated, you pound your head on a brick wall though that comes in handy too sometimes.

I’m talking about nothing but a pair of tennis shoes (well, not totally nothing, just to clarify!) and the great outdoors with a speeds that rival the Fast and the Furious.  Okay, so I got winded passing a granny walking with a cane get the idea.

My husband gave me a strange look tonght when I hopped out of bed, swapped my pajamas for running clothes and said, “Well, I’m going on a run”  He nodded slowly, no doubt thinking that anything that would help me be more sane is an worthy investment even though he would have to figure out how to nurse our up-all-night-baby...but that’s another blog for another day.

The sidewalk stretched before me like a highway to freedom and the cool night air breathed life into my soul.

As I breathed in cold air, my eyes released hot tears and my jumbled thoughts begin to crystallize in the absence of my daily noise and distractions.

I feel I can’t keep up with my life.  At times, I feel I can’t keep my house clean, finish projects and even find time to return phone calls and emails!  Heck, it’s a good day if I had time to make my bed...or flush the toilet before I hit the ground running again.

My list of complaints about myself to my Best Friend that loves me no matter what went on...and on...

...and on... (I think I added a few about my husband too...though those were harder to come up with, of course!).

Finally I ended my conversation with God (oh wait, can it be a conversation if I’m the only one talking??  Hmmm....) with my final beef.

“And sometimes I'm not happy about things in my life.”

Then, I did something rare and wonderful: I shut up.

When I heard God’s response, I nearly tripped over my own two feet while I was running.  

He replied, “Good.”

Excuse me?!!  Pardon me?  Did I hear that correctly?!  Did the God of the universe just say it was a GOOD thing that I wasn’t always HAPPY?  

But that was also the moment I started to smile as I understood in my heart exactly what He meant, “I am more concerned that you are HOLY than HAPPY.  You are being sanctified and part of that process means your life is out of your control and that’s EXACTLY where I want it to be.”

Then I started laughing when I thought of Carrie Underwood’s song, “Jesus, Take the Wheel.”  The problem with my life lately is Jesus has not been at the wheel, heck-there are days I haven’t even l let him in the passenger seat but rather assign him a spot in the trunk (good thing he has supernatural breathing powers!).

Everytime my tennis shoes made contact with the pavement, this one thought exploded in my brain, “Give. Him. Control.”

So easy to hard to do!

But in theory, letting Jesus take control of my life could become easier and easier to do if I would actually practice it (as most things we practice eventually this run that is KILLING my lungs at the moment!).  

Next time I sit down at my computer, overwhelmed, why not give Him control by saying a quick prayer that He would be with me and make my (short) time I have to catch up more effective, more...purposeful?  

And maybe when the dishes pile and laundry breeds like bunnies in the basement, I could ask God what is more important: the mess or my little kids that won’t be little much longer?  Then, when he answers (which, hm...I’m pretty sure I know what THAT answer will be)...why not ask for His grace to ignore the mess until I can tackle it HIS power.

So, Jesus take the wheel.

And I’ll take to the pavement to clear my head when I forget who should be in charge of my life.  The One who promised, “I have plans for you...plans for a hope and a future!” (Jeremiah 29:11)  


Jenni said...

love :) I have the same struggle and often do the same til my lungs scream and then finally give up and admit that God does all things well and that He perfectly placed me in my beautifully crazy life to make me more and more like Him. And, go back encouraged and uplifted and ready to take on the challenge of enjoying the little blessings that He gave me!

Lisa said...

How timely! I loved this...and little ones do grow up to you!